i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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