I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm jealous of your bromance
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
