Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
