Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
