You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Someone came in the potted fern
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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