this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
