i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
