i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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