Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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