It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
