I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
