I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize