butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
