I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize