Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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