Do you still have your period?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
