hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
