I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize