'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
