dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
