Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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