Kiss
Puke
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
