it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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