I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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