I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
