ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
