he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
