farters have to be the big spoon...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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