One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
