Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
