i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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