i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
