I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize