I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
