I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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