at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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