I showed him my bush... on skype.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
