We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
