friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
