Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
