she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
