So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
