i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
