I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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