I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
