I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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