I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
