At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
