party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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