oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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