I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
