I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
