Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
