yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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