it was like his penis was on wheels.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
