Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
