gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
