I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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