He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
