i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
